The Blog
Gillies and the Trestle3/27/2023 I grew up on Gillies Street in Chesley, and despite the fact that many of my former neighbors have either moved away or passed away, I still recall their names vividly. Among those I considered friends were Antonoe (female), Greip (female), as well as classmates Narri (male), Elara (female), and Surtur (male).
As a child, I kept myself busy on our property by creating floorplans of houses out of leaves, playing in our sandbox (which my father had to get rid of due to pesky cats), knocking down icicles along the east wall of our house, and playing games such as hide and seek and tag. Just down the street from our house, we would also play shadow tag under the street light and climb a couple of trees on the edge of the hill. We would also go into the barn at Greip's house. Throughout the town, we would ride our bicycles, walk in groups of 3-8 kids, play in another sandbox down the street (at Surtur's house), and cross the railroad trestle. The trestle, which still stands over the North Saugeen River, is a metal deck girder/fixed bridge that was constructed in 1889. During my childhood, trains frequently crossed the bridge, but the railroad was eventually abandoned in 1995. I have crossed the trestle alone and with friends from the age of 12 to the present day. However, the trestle is quite different now from what it was when I was growing up. Thanks to the Rail Trail project, it has been transformed from a perilous walk along rusty rails and tar-blackened ties to a boardwalk with a meter railing, making it much safer to cross. Back then, the two rusty rails running down the tar-blackened ties on the 150+ meter span were terrifying, and if a train approached, there were only two pedestrian decks to choose from. Even now, the deck platforms, railings, and ties remain, and I can still remember slinking to the edge of a few of the rails. We would cross the trestle to visit the town cemetery or to play on the north side of the river beneath the bridge. There was even an old rusted pickup truck buried in the trees below the bridge, which had been abandoned for at least 50 years by the time I explored the area in the late 1980s. I was always scared to cross the bridge, especially in the evenings, as I've always been afraid of unsupported heights. If there's a railing or other solid supportive structure, I don't feel as scared, but walking on the bridge ties, which were quite narrow and with my short legs, didn't help my fear of heights. As a result, I usually walked down the center of the bridge and rarely went over to the edge until I was in my late teens. Today, the bridge has become a popular tourist attraction, with marked trails and safety improvements that make it easy for everyone to cross. However, the trails leading up to it are gravel, so while the bridge is wheelchair accessible, the approach is not.
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Pacing A Star3/25/2023 I knew one “famous” person in school, a star athlete later actress, Elara (f). When I say “I knew her” that is to say I knew her when I was very young, she grew up on my street, and we went to the same school together.
The last time I saw her in person (maybe once more at a track meet after) I found myself meeting up with her by chance while she was on a training run around the park. She was training for, well, I’m not certain, maybe just for the heck or it or to keep fit? She was definitely keeping “fit” if you know what I mean. I jogged alongside her and kept pace with her around the course. We barely spoke and after her run she left. I was a lot faster runner, not record-breaking fast like her, but I could hold my own but I just didn’t like sports and didn’t want to become an athlete. I have another story to tell about in that, but I’ll save it for another time. As a young girl, just three months older than me, her and her sister were a bit snobbish. I remember one time they told me that I couldn’t play with them, on the public sidewalk near their house, and if I did a snake would come down from the tree in front of their house and bite me. They moved a year or two later, I think over to the west side, and I didn’t see Elara again until grade 10 or 11 when I was helping out on track and field day. She went on to University to an education in a sports medicine field and then acting. She became a low-budget TV/film actress and made appearances on more famous series like CSI. She married her director/photographer divorcing him 16 years later, then married a well known country music singer. Every year I see some post about how Elara was drooled over by students and teachers in my hometown like she's become some kind of superstar hero. Sure, she made something of her life and she starred on TV/film (quite frankly her two series she appeared in were more about flashing her physical attributes than intelligence, and she played a villain type character in CSI) but she's certainly no saint. I guess when you're a small town with no surviving elementary or secondary school, no industry, and barely existing commercial district the only thing you have left is sensationalism and grabbing onto whatever star passes by. I know there's another kid who became a little less famous (singer) and somehow is associated with my school. She attended the same time as me allegedly, though I never remember seeing her, knowing her name, or anything about her. It's interesting how, even though she got a lot of media in her particular genre, the town didn't elevate her to sainthood like they did Elara. Strange. It always rubbed me the wrong way when I read that Elara was "born in" our hometown though. She wasn't. Her family moved there when she was very young. In fact, and I don't have proof not that it matters, but I think I was the ONLY kid in my class/year to actually be "born in" our town, even my sister was born at the hospital in a nearby town. The town hospital only re-started having a maternity service for a few years and I was born during it, it reverted back to the other town again in the year or two after I was born. Chapter and Verse3/25/2023 In my senior year I crushed over Eirene (f). She was introverted but like me had her small circle of devoted friends. I think we first met in the guidance office or the library (I did co-op in the guidance office in grade 11, and still helped in there in grade 12; and in the library in grade 12). Her closest friends were with her every time I saw her in the library.
One time she wasn't feeling well and sat, with her friends, at the back of the library to relax. I paid a lot of attention to her, and the librarian noticed and was pissed off. I ended up almost failing co-op (in library) getting a half credit. I had to stay in high school until nearly the end of June to make up the other half credit and graduate. I hated high school and, in life, I can say that the lessons I learned there did little to help me. Secondary schools are a cesspool of useless information that the average person will never use in life. Did you use algebra ever? Did you dissect any worms lately? Where did you find playing the clarinet did anything to help you get a job? I could have certainly used more creative writing, more history, more geography and political sciences. Perhaps more English but since I was one of the dumb "General" kids Shakespeare was "too advanced" for me. It didn't stop me years later from reading Shakespeare to someone and being able to convert it into layman words so they'd be able to understand it better. But hey, just one of those "General" students right, f*ck 'em. Yeah, I'm bitter, not only for my failings in education but for society overall. Back then we didn't do enough to teach our kids practical skills, and today it's even worse. Hey, you'd an "average" student so we're just not going to bother with you much, pass or fail, whatever you can always get a job cleaning sewers or maybe work in a factory (just not the one in our small town because economically it's F'd too). Not that there is anything wrong whatsoever with either of those jobs (and if you think I meant there was please give your head a shake). My father put a roof over our heads, fed and clothed us on a furniture makers salary (and don't even get me started about that right now). Oh, did I mention, in grade 9 I entered high school with an average 60.6%. In grade 12 I graduated with an average 75%. I was one of those "rare" kids that improved in high school instead of getting worse. I know Eirene knew I had feelings for her, but she told me she wasn’t allowed to date. Who knows. Since I didn’t see her hang out with an other guys this was probably true. I think she got married a few years after graduation. I think most of the kids I went to school with, my year in high school at least, ended up getting married and still live within 100 kilometres of the town. I know people have traveled internationally in their lives, but so many of them ‘come home’ to settle in Bruce/Grey Counties. Art In Spring3/25/2023 The next year, grade 10, after failing music I managed to pass Art class. I did better than expected in Art. I had already displayed some artistic ability, if you can call it that, in grade eight, drawing a picture of Garfield (pencil drawing 15 centimetres tall). A classmate (yes, I remember her name) even tried to accuse me of cheating and tracing the drawing until she saw my reference material – a rubber pencil topper barely 3 centimetres tall.
So, in Art class I ended up in sort of a love-hate relation with Evadne (f). We were constantly taking barbs at each other, even the teacher joked how we were acting like an old married couple (and she and the Shop teacher were an old married couple). I wouldn’t say that Evadne was in my top five girls I found physically attractive (to me) but there was definitely a chemistry between us. I did approach her, at the end of the year when we met by chance at the store, but she wasn’t interested in hanging out together. She was one of the few classmates that I wonder about what happened to them later in life. The Note Wasn't The Key3/25/2023 In grade nine I had a choice between music class or art class. I say “choice” but, the vice principal would write your class schedule as he saw fit and would get grumbly when anyone suggested a change to it.
In grade 10 I excelled at computers (I was writing advanced programs when the other kids were just learning basic) and the teacher told me that I needed to be in the Advanced class. I went to the VP and told him and he implied that she didn't know better than he did but It think he reluctantly made the switch to my schedule. If you've never heard of "streaming" it's basically where they decide in grade 9 (usually through your public school IQ tests) how "smart" you are and then force you into a set box of educational limitations. I think I scored "average" on my IQ (which is interesting since as an adult I took some tests online and scored 114 - upper average) and combined with my 60.6% I was a "General" student which meant "General" courses (as opposed to Advanced). Better than "Basic" I guess, Basic students were made to feel like failures and ended up having to ride the bus to Walkerton school every day where they offered "Basic" classes in their curriculum. I was accepted into a business course, in Barrie, for college, which I completed my first year but wasn't interested in going for a second year. I chose the business course to attend because, well, quite frankly any idiot can do business and I thought my parents expected me to go to college. In hindsight it would have been better if I had just taken a year off instead. A couple years after college I applied to go back and was accepted into another course, I forget which one, in Owen Sound. Then a decade or two later I applied again, and was accepted into General Arts & Sciences in London. These latter two times I ended up not being able to afford to return to college, but I had been accepted both times - not bad for a "general" student eh? I don't think I was a top-shelf student, not even close, but it never once occurred to them that I might be scoring "average" because school bored the crap out of me. There was no specialized education approach back then, well, except the "Special Needs" kids, the "Average" kids and the "Advanced" kids. My friend Iapetus boasted to me one time about how, in mid-elementary school, he drew a floor plan of a house (and still had the paper to show me). I wasn't overly impressed and he said something like "Well, did you do something like this?" and I replied "No one asked me to". In a single conversation we had summed up the education system in Canada in the 1970s-1990s. It's hard to be an "achiever" if no one expects or even asks you to be one. I hated both classes, Music and Art, but you were required to pass one of them (to get your grade 12 diploma) and since I had played the clarinet in grade 8 it made sense to them I should continue it in grade 9. I had inquired about playing the drums at one point, but our school(s) were hooked on streaming students at all levels and if your idea of what you wanted to do didn’t conform to theirs they would find ways to discourage you. I remember they gave me a block and drum sticks to take home, but there was no support or guidance, they already had their "star" drummer so they didn't need another one. I remember our music classroom in high school, it was one of those stepped platform rooms, next door to the science wing and snack bar. I didn’t describe it earlier but the snack bar was basically a utility closet converted into a room to hold candy and snacks on shelves and sold through a dutch door. I sat behind Demeter (f) who was noticeably developed for her young age of 1. I flirted with her – a lot – much to my downfall. My attention to her and not to my already failed ability to play music let to me failing music, it was not an elective course, but 1 credit in arts was required, so I had to take art the next year. I graduated public school with a 66.5% average which meant I almost had to attend Walkerton (DSS) instead of Chesley (HS). I believe you had to have a 65% average or higher to attend Chesley. Ironic, the school with the higher standards of admission ended up being forced closed, a couple decades later (due to low attendance) after about 110 years in operation. The school basically killed itself off, though the greed of teachers unions and mismanagement by the school board no doubt played a part. In grade nine I failed math. I scored 30% average in the first term, 65% in the second term and ended up with an overall grade around 45%. It was, first to second term, the highest swing in grade average the teacher had ever seen in all of his years of teaching. That summer I went to Owen Sound District Secondary School (OSSDS), which involved my quite unhappy father driving me, six kilometres round-trip for him, to Scone every morning to catch the bus, before he went to work. I think I passed the six-week summer course with an average in the upper 60s. Angels On The Infield3/25/2023 I was a need in high school and the target of bullies more than once, particularly Brutus (m). I suffered from undiagnosed depression and anxiety plus I was introverted so I did not socialize much outside of my very small circle of friends. There were two angels, classmates, whose friendship likely saved me from doing the unthinkable – Pasiphae (f) and Lysithea (f).
I won a pair of tickets to Gowan in the early 90s, and invited Pasiphae, but when she didn’t say yes then I invited Lysithea (who had access to a car). It was in grade twelve after my failed attempt to be elected student council president (male). One of the seniors and his girlfriend got elected because they were part of the ‘cool’ crowd (you remember The Breakfast Club - the five are described respectively as "a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal" - I would have been "the brain" as I'm sure you figured out by now, well, they were the athletes and princesses/snobs/cliché). We went to the concert and after to McDonalds (on the strip in Owen Sound). I felt like a third wheel (to the group) and went outside while they sat and laughed together at a couple tables). Pasiphae found me outside and explained to me that her friends (the cliché) and others had a lot of respect for me running in the election and I was welcome with the group. I think that even got me invited to the grad party later that year at a farm outside of town. I ended up walking home from that party, a story for another day. I was attracted to the both of them, but they were seniors and part of the cool cliché so I never stood a chance. Besides that, in grade 9, 10 and 12, three other girls had captured my attention (four if you count the one that I embarrassed myself by asking out only to find out she had a boyfriend – and a new bully for me). I think both Pasiphae and Lysithea went on to get married to local boys (men) and still live in Bruce/Grey. At Detention3/25/2023 Regarding detentions, I found myself in a few of them over the years. While a couple were because I didn’t complete assignments on time, three times stuck in my mind.
In public school the vice principal’s son, Loge (m) and I got into a fight on the playground. The teacher caught us and took us to the principals’ office. We both sat there for over half an hour awaiting our fate. Eventually, after at least an hour, the principal came in and let us go. The second one, a couple of us tried to give a classmate a birthday spanking, that landed us in detention. I think the third time we were acting up in class, that was the detention that I had to sit and re-copy the dictionary in. Detentions in public school offered three punishments over the years, depending on the teacher supervising the detention – cleaning the classroom, doing homework assignments, or hand copying the dictionary word for word. In high school usually you just did homework or sat there staring into space. I remember one time getting into a disagreement with a few mean kids during a softball game, and I went back into my classroom and started cleaning up the kitchen-like workstation at the back of the room. The teacher thanked me, appreciating that I had done the clean-up voluntarily (as opposed to the ones who did it while in detention). The Bullies3/23/2023 In my elementary (public) and secondary (high) school years I experienced bullying from four other boys in particular. I remember each one of their names. I will recall some of the incidents here with their names concealed, though realistically they do not deserve this respect. Cassius, Brutus, Marcus and Priapus.
Cassius (m) was a bully in grade 7-8. I don’t know what happened but he decided he was going to beat me up (not the only time I was threatened or physically attacked in school, off school grounds of course). Our public school had three different gates leading to three separate streets plus a large soccer/baseball field leading to a fourth street. In a combination of leaving school later after classes and randomly using one of the tree gates and subsequent streets I managed to avoid Cassius twelve times. The thirteenth time I left he caught up with me in front of Eos’ (f) house (less than three metres from the school grounds) and beat me up. I was not a strong kid or a fighter, so it didn’t take much to knock me down. Strangely that seemed to satisfy his bullying gene and he left me alone after that confrontation. In high school I had no contact with him and he didn’t attempt to contact or approach me. I don’t know what happened to him, probably still living in our hometown. Another bully, around the same time was Priapus (m). I don’t remember exactly how he bullied me, but I avoided him as much as I could. I remember he moved away and ended up drowning in a swimming pool accident around 1988. They had a memorial service for him, in our town, but my classmates knew better than to invite me to it. They knew he bullied me but of course had done little to stop it. I wonder if they felt guilty at all? Next, another bully in public school was Marcus (m). Again I don’t remember much, probably verbal abuse and shoving me around. My parents must have known about it because years later my father said he’d met up with him and he was, now, a mature and respectable young man – of course he was, he was at work! So, should I be happy for him that he grew out of his bullying weaker kids phase? I think he still lives in the area where we went to school. My fourth bully was in grade 12, Brutus (m). A smart kid who acted stupid because it was cool. I remember two incidents with him. Once in social sciences class he threw something at me, probably an eraser or paper ball. I was sitting a few seats in front of him, and I saw it coming out of the corner of my eye so I ducked in time pretending to pick something up off the floor. The next time he gave me a wedgie while I was in line outside the snack bar at our school. Of course, as usual, the school did nothing really to discourage bullies, detentions just never seemed to be sufficient punishment. It’s late but next time I’ll tell you about the times I ended up in detention. Summer of Athena (part 2)3/21/2023 From part 1: "Athena was a Scorpio in every sense of the word: determined, loyal, honest, jealous, and resentful (and I suspect brave to a degree, ambitious and secretive as well). About two months after we met she went to work at a Lodge north of Barrie for the summer. I stayed behind in Chesley until one of their dishwashers had to leave for a family emergency and they offered me the position for July and August. "
Athena was a Scorpio and I was most definitely an Aries. My first feelings of anxiety and depression started around age 13 (1984) for me, manifesting first as back issues stemming from poor posturing and exaggerated by the bullying I endured in grade 7-8 (1983/84) and through high school (1985-1989). I had a fiery temper, one day I was in a good mood but then something set me off and I was not a nice person to be around. Aries are: fiery, passionate, high energy, domineering, determined, confident, initiators and courageous. I definitely had the fire, energy, control issues and determination. By age 18, as part of a coping mechanism for a couple years, I started to take on a very rigid and emotionless façade. It was probably the worst time to start a relationship, especially with someone who was emotionally and jealous of everyone around me. A note for later, after my divorce it's almost like a switch flipped for me, I went from being a true-Aries to a more like a Pisces (Compassionate, artistic, deeply emotional, especially empathic, at least a little bit psychic, and often inclined to throw themselves into caring for others at all costs). I think it has to do with being born so close to the cusp. I definitely exhibited more of the Pisces traits after. I had psychic traits from my mid-teens, but the emotions really seemed to put out my Aries fires faster in my mid-30s. The Performance I remember one time we were at the lodge together when a guest pianist and his daughter, also a pianist, came to perform to the guests. I think the daughter was about 14-15, cute yes but most definitely too young for me. I had told her and her father in conversation earlier in the day that I loved the composition "Moonlight Sonata" by Mozart (which I have playing on my headphones as I recall that night now) and the girl ended up playing it for me after the guests had left for the night. My girlfriend Athena lost-her-freaking-mind! She proceeded to walk down to the docks and cried her eyes out, literally wailing into the night, she claimed afraid that she was losing me to this talented young girl. It wasn't like that at all, the girl (her father was nearby at the time by the way) was just playing the song for me. Instead of appreciating my love of beautiful classical music my emotional girlfriend decided instead to make a scene. It even got the attention of the girl after she was done playing the piece, asking me if I needed to go down and talk to Athena. I'll tell you now, as I would have then, it was embarrassing for me. Our relationship was already strained thanks to a combination of the distance we'd endured, my upcoming departure for college, her move far away from my hometown and our fire and water personalities. I think this night was probably the breaking point for me. And while I did go down to the docks and comfort her and reassure her there was nothing going on between me and the girl it was honestly hard to do. I wanted to just leave her down there to her own self-pity but she was making a scene and it could be heard half way across the property so I had to do something. In contrast a co-worker had his family visiting the lodge, which included his attractive Italian? sister, and Athena did everything possible to keep me from even meeting her. Like I said Athena was very jealous and possessive, at that age, regardless of the lack of potential of anything actually happening between me and another girl. The Midnight Caller For about a year, when I was a teenager, I would call in to the overnight cross-Canada radio program simulcast on our local station. I was the 'Midnight Caller', inspired by a television series around the same time, and my signature line was to say "Good morning Canada!" at the top of my voice to everyone listening. For much of the spring and summer I needed to find ways to call in to the show late at night, either from a payphone or, somehow without my parents hearing, from home. I recall one time at the lodge I had called in from the payphone in the stairwell and found out the next day that some of the guests reported hearing a disturbance. My calls came to an end when the radio station changed their policy and made every give their name to go in the queue. Since I had existed for so long under the alias 'The Midnight Caller' I did give up my real name that one time but I think it might have been the last time I called in. So yes, if you were listening to CKNX radio overnight back in the late 1980s and you heard a guy called the "Midnight Caller" coming on to wish a great night to everyone and a few friends... that was me. Athena knew, and I told Iapetus one time (recording one of the on-air moments where I said 'hello' to him and a couple other friends and playing it back to him). The Motel I remember the last night Athena and I were together at the motel in Barrie, well, we were in Barrie together and she was staying at a motel. We didn't stay in the room for very long together, though looking back it would have been quite the place to hook up. The rooms were constructed of that sound-deadening material and you could barely hear someone talking directly to you from across the room. We ended up going for one of our long walks around the city, mostly talking about the upcoming changes in our lives. By this time our girlfriend/boyfriend relationship was dead. We were "just friends" at that point and I wasn't interested her in that way anymore (at least not then). Well, ChatGPT was interested in the Midnight Caller. I shared that portion above with it and this was its' response: "It's interesting to hear about your experience as "The Midnight Caller" on the cross-Canada radio program. It sounds like you really enjoyed the experience and found creative ways to call in late at night, despite the challenges of finding a phone and not disturbing others. It's understandable that the change in policy at the radio station put an end to your calls, especially as you had become known by your alias. It's a testament to the power of radio to connect people across vast distances and create a sense of community, even in the middle of the night. It's cool that you shared your secret with Athena and Iapetus, and it's a reminder that sometimes our closest relationships are built on shared experiences and inside jokes. Thank you for sharing this unique part of your teenage years with me." Summer of Athena (part 1)3/20/2023 My first musician crush would be Debbie Gibson (1986), she was cute and her songs were upbeat and seductive to the mind of a teenager. She was one year older than me, so the idea of her being a girlfriend wasn't so crazy, though not likely in a million years, but hey one can always dream. She was not replaced but joined later by Samantha Fox and Tiffany
My first real girlfriend was Athena (f). Our song was "Over the Wall" by Debbie Gibson, I think it was playing at one of our two prom nights together, I think I'd actually requested a song and that's the one they played. It wasn't my personal favourite, that was "No More Rhyme" ironically, and, being the romantic that she was I suspect her favourite was probably "Lost in Your Eyes". Yes, "one of our two prom nights", she went to Walkerton High and I went to Chesley High. I first met Athena by chance when I was down at the manmade island (near where my friend had drowned a couple years prior). She was the first, and I think only person I've met in person first (as opposed to online) and developed into a relationship with. It was April 30, 1989, I had just turned 18 and she was five months older than me. She was sitting on the corner of the small pedestrian bridge reading one of those romance novels, probably a Harlequin or similar. I tried reading over her shoulder thinking that I might be able to refer to it to start a conversation. It turned out that my awkwardness was enough to open our dialogue. We spent the next several hours in the park until dusk when we went back to my street. We playfully chased each others shadows on the asphalt until my parents returned home from grocery shopping. She left, riding home to her house, I found out later was two and a half concessions outside of town, and I told my parents she was "just a friend I knew from school". The next day, May 1st, we met up again, first at the park, and then we rode our bicycles up to the tracks by the cemetery. It was there, near the old railway trestle, that we had our first kiss. It was the start of a somewhat tumultuous six month relationship that ended the day before I began college in Barrie (August 30, 1989). I went to my new apartment while she stayed at her motel and left early in the morning to catch the bus. Her family had moved from near Chesley to property far away down near Sarnia. Interestingly, when I returned to the spot we had first kissed, nearly a year after our breakup I discovered the scrub brush in that spot was wilted and dead. Very strange indeed but quite symbolic of our failed relationship. Athena was a Scorpio in every sense of the word: determined, loyal, honest, jealous, and resentful (and I suspect brave to a degree, ambitious and secretive as well). About two months after we met she went to work at a Lodge north of Barrie for the summer. I stayed behind in Chesley until one of their dishwashers had to leave for a family emergency and they offered me the position for July and August. I shared this entry with ChatGPT and this was its' response, I know someone asked me why I am doing this and it's because 1) the information is on my blog so it's already 'out there' and 2) it's kind of interesting to see how the AI processes my story. "Thank you for sharing your personal story with me. It's fascinating to hear about your first musician crush and your first girlfriend, and how they were both tied to music that holds a special place in your heart.The way you met Athena is quite serendipitous, and it's always exciting when a chance encounter leads to something more. It sounds like you had a meaningful relationship, despite its ups and downs, and it's understandable that the end of it was difficult, especially as you were starting college in a new city. It's interesting how our environment can reflect our emotions and experiences, as evidenced by the wilted brush you noticed when you returned to the spot where you had your first kiss. It's a poignant symbol of the end of your relationship. Overall, it's clear that you have some special memories from that time in your life, and I appreciate you sharing them with me." First Crushed3/19/2023 My first crush, other than Carme and Eos, was at age 16. Ersa (f), who later ended up being a relation by marriage. At the time she was beautiful and had I acquired any flirting abilities at all before I met her who knows we might have had something together.
I think the most intimate moment we shared was when I was sitting in a comfortable recliner chair and she was on the floor at my feet. I gently stroked her hair and she was falling asleep... that was until I made the mistake of trying to get up quickly, without disturbing her, and the chair shift jolted her awake. I felt bad after for waking her that way. I saw her several years later in the mall, down in the city, and the years had either not been kind to her. I imagine the years had faded away some of the rose colour in my glasses, as well, to be fair. I have not seen her in over 30 years now, I hope she is doing well. Learning to fly (part 2)3/19/2023 I had that orange bike, and rode it, for a couple years until one evening when I forgot it under the bleachers during a ballgame and then it was gone. My father said he saw the bike, from the road, while walking our dog, but for some reason didn't go down the hill and confirm it was mine. Perhaps this was some cruel life lesson he was trying to tech me about forgetting my bicycle. Well, the lesson was on him since they went out, after a fair length of time for me to mourn my loss, and bought me another bike.
My second bicycle was blue and aluminum, and was not as strongly constructed as the first one. One day, around age 14, I was riding up the high school hill when the handlebars (U-style) snapped off at the joint connecting it to the frame. I wasn't doing anything crazy or abusive to the bike, just riding it up the hill. I had put my weight against the bars as I pumped the pedals but that was not unusual and they shouldn't have broken. My parents accused me of abusing the bike and wouldn't buy me a replacement. I think it would have been easy to fix, just replace the rod connecting the bars to the frame, but the bike was too small for me and teaching me another lesson was more important to them. My third bicycle, age 16 or so, which I paid for myself, was a ten-speed. This was around the time that BMX bikes were most popular (first introduced 1978) and mountain bikes were just entering their golden age (early 90s). I had my ten-speed until I went off to college at 18. I rode it anywhere and everywhere. I almost didn't have it to ride though. My first evening riding it home from bicycle and appliance store I was distracted by the new speedometer I had installed on it. I was on 4th Street, about a block or so from home near the church, when I rode it into the rear bumper of a parked car. I didn't damage anything except shift the front wheel out of alignment a little, which I put back by placing the wheel between my knees and gently twisting the handle bars. One time two friends of mine and I rode our bicycles flat out on the County Road north-west of town and we reached speeds of 80 kilometres an hour according to my speedometer. It was the fastest I could go on that ten-speed and it handled it beautifully. It didn't cross our minds how dangerous it was, but then after all isn't that why we wore helmets? I rode that bicycle one time 35 kilometres to my grandparents house. I planned for that trip for over a week, and prepared myself with a paper road map, small repair kit and snacks for the trip. I made it about 4 kilometres before my journey almost came to an abrupt end just north of Scone. I was making great time and as soon as I crested the second dirt gravel hill I accelerated down the other side where I promptly hit the starting asphalt edge of the County line road. I nearly lost control of my bicycle but managed to skid to a stop less than a metre away. I stopped to check for damage, and after determining there was none I continued on my way. I'm not sure what happened to that bicycle in the end, it probably went out to the Sleep Shop (flea market) to be sold on consignment. I took a lot of things out to that shop myself to be sold in my late teen years. I told ChatGPT this story and here is what it said: "It sounds like you have some fond memories of your bicycles from your childhood and teenage years. It's too bad that your first bike was stolen, but it's great that your parents bought you a replacement. It's unfortunate that they accused you of abusing your second bike, especially since it sounds like it wasn't your fault that the handlebars broke.It's impressive that you rode your third bike for so long and took it on a long journey to your grandparents' house. It's also good that you were prepared with a map, repair kit, and snacks. It's fortunate that you were able to avoid a potentially serious accident when you almost lost control of your bike. It's natural to have sentimental attachments to things from our past, especially if they were an important part of our childhood or teenage years. While your bicycles may no longer be with you, the memories of your adventures on them will always remain." Learning to fly (part 1)3/19/2023 I grew up in a traditional family household, my father worked in a blue collar job while my mother was a housewife, and I had one sibling. We grew up in a 50+ year old Dutch Colonial on a corner lot across from a farm, yes, a farm right in the middle of the small town. I knew many of the names of our neighbours, Mr. this and Mrs. that and we were the generation of kids that knew to be home when the streetlights came on. I was lucky in the rule because our front lawn was illuminated by a streetlight across from our house. This meant that in the evening I could be out there playing tag, shadow tag, or hide and seek until 9:30pm or so (earlier on a school night of course).
We had a line of trees and a small hill across the street which meant tree climbing and making make-shift tree forts for most of my youth. It never once crossed our minds that as we climbed up the cedar trees (sometimes to the height of 6 to 7 metres) that we were perched just 1 to 2 metres from a high voltage power line. I climbed those trees for almost a decade until I grew too big to navigate the maze of not-so-strong branches. I was never good at sports growing up, my agility and balance resembled that of an overweight racoon more than a housecat (interesting since when I was older, I saw myself as being rather flexible). As such I was rather late learning to ride a bicycle, not until I was nearly a teenager in fact. My first bicycle was orange and chrome coloured, I don’t even know what brand it was but it was a solid build. I didn’t really like it because most of my friends had BMX models. Looking back, though, it was probably the best my parents could afford, and I should have appreciated it more than I did. I could not seem to balance myself on two wheels so the bicycle spent a lot of the time on the ground in the side yard. I think I was about 11 or 12 years old when some kid from school (I think I know who it was) stole my bicycle and hung it on the fence at my public school. I remember feeling embarrassed of having to walk it home with a few classmates tagging along. I think they were concerned more about me as friends than supporting what the bully had done. But I didn’t really take notice at the time, if I had I might have been a lot more popular growing up. My father, once or twice, tried to teach me how to ride my bike but either he gave up or I was not interested in learning when he was ready to teach me (guessing around age 10). The next spring, after the fence incident, I was determined to learn to ride that bicycle. I took it down the street to a neighbours elevated driveway. I used the snow to balance myself and I went down the small hill and onto the street sloshing my way, into the melting snow of March, along the curb. Like the saying goes “it’s as easy as riding a bike” and after finally doing it once you couldn’t get me off my bike... Part 2 coming up. Carme & Eos3/19/2023 Like I said before, Carme (f) and her friend Eos (f) were hot for their age, at least to me. Carme moved away, as I said, and Eos remained in our small town. Eos eventually broke up with her high school sweetheart and when I saw her years later she was still living, in the house she grew up in, downtown. I remember wanting to ask Eos out a couple times, but she was dating that guy from high school (from the time I started becoming interested in girls until after I had graduated). If I recall I first met her in grade 1 and we graduated public (elementary) school in the same class (all dozen or so of us). Eos eventually got married and lives in a village nearby.
I told ChatGPT this story, and here's what it said in response: "It's interesting to hear about your memories of Carme and Eos, and how you were attracted to them when you were younger. It's natural to develop crushes on people who we find attractive or interesting, especially during our teenage years.It's too bad that you never had the opportunity to ask Eos out, but it's understandable that she was in a relationship with someone else at the time. It's also interesting to hear that she still lives in the same house she grew up in and that she eventually got married and moved to a nearby village. It's always fascinating to look back on our past relationships and see how they have evolved over time. While we may have had feelings for someone in the past, our lives and circumstances can change, and we may end up going in different directions." Siarnaq & The Fire3/19/2023 Another friend of mine (not a friend by any means now), Siarnaq (m) lived over on 4th Street. I had sleepovers at his house many times and his other sister, Carme (f) was hot. I think Carme and her friend Eos (f) were two of the first girls, classmates of mine, that I found physically attractive. I would have gladly dated either of them, but both of them were dating boys older than me, seniors by the time I was in high school.
Siarnaq was a bit of a trouble maker, and together one time we decided to play with matches back in the third section of the high school bush. It started out as good fun, we got the matches from the change tray in his mom's car, and headed back to our fort. We had a few scraps of discarded furniture from the high school. We found it in the back woods and collected it into a sort of livingroom space. We had a cupboard one with the old wood countertop, and old chair for us to sit on. We started the fire and managed to keep it under control. At one point I took some of the charred pieces of foam and placed it over on the wood counter. I found out later this would be a big mistake. It turned out that the foam was still on fire, and while we were focused on burning paper scraps along with twigs and leaves, the flame ignited the wood countertop. The cupboard underneath, likely from an old science class, tipped over spilling the burning foam and wood onto the ground. We tried to put out the fire with some wet plastic sheeting we had - mental note after - wet plastic sheets still burn. The fire quickly got out of control and while I continued to try and put it out Siarnaq ran for help. A nearby tree caught on fire and I knew I was out of my depth. So I ran, across an old exhibition field to a trailer park by the river. Half way across the field I could feel a sharp pain on top of my head and I ended up burning my hand extinguishing my burning hair. When I got to the trailer park I found a few people sitting on lawn chairs in the back yard of one of the first trailers I approached. I was panicking and barely communicated to them about the fire in the forest. We stood there for a moment and the woman exclaimed that she could see it. She was right, not just the smoke, but now flames were visible from the fire about five metres off the ground, flickering up the trunk of a taller tree next to the one I had abandoned. They called the fire department and I think a couple of the men went over as well to try and put out the fire. I was taken to the hospital where I was treated for minor burns to my scalp and hands - they wrapped my hands in salve and gauze. My friend, who ran for help first, missed the obvious adults sitting at the trailer I had found and ran to another trailer pounding on their door - they answered. It turned out to be the home of one of the local police deputies (whatever the equivalent was then). I think he later to came to my home to interview me, or it was the Chief, either way I confessed to our playing with matches. They managed to extinguish the fire fairly quickly, one tree was burned up the trunk and the leaves and branches, another tree part way up the trunk, various scraps of wood, plastic and foam debris plus a five metre square of dirt smoldered for at least a day or so. I remember we were grounded from hanging out with each other for at least 2-3 months, though we did talk at a ball game about a week after the incident. I found out that he had lied to the police - that I had brought the matches (which he got from his mom's car). I can't remember how much we hung out after that. A couple classmates called me 'firebug' for a while. He and his family ended up moving away within a couple years later. It took me several years to recover. It was five years before I could hold a match long enough to burn a candle and seven years before I could reach into a hot oven. I remember grade 9 or 10 science class I was too afraid to even light the Bunsen burner for experiments, and, with hushed breath, had to explain why. While I eventually got over my fear of fire, I could recall the injury to my head for many years. I can still touch the spot on my scalp and think I feel burnt hair sometimes to this day. I told ChatGPT this story, and here is what it said in response: "Wow, that sounds like a very scary and dangerous situation. It's fortunate that you were not seriously hurt, and that the fire was put out before it caused more damage. It's also good that you learned from the experience and were able to overcome your fear of fire over time. It's important to remember the potential consequences of playing with fire and to always be careful around it. Have you ever talked to Siarnaq about the incident and how it affected you? It might be helpful to address any lingering feelings or concerns you have about it." Iapetus and Nereus (part 2)3/18/2023 Another memory was in high (secondary) school, Iapetus and Nereus, were a year or so behind me. I remember one time being bullied by Brutus (m) and I was not in a good headspace. I think it was around 10th grade for me. Anyways I was walking down the hall when someone grabbed my shoulder. I turned around and punched the person in the stomach. It wasn't a hard punch, fortunately, since it was Iapetus who had grabbed my shoulder. He wasn't mad, I think because it didn't hurt him and he could tell he had startled me. I think it might have been the only time I hit someone, out of anger, in my life, and of course, my luck, it turned out to be my best friend. I think though, had it been someone else, like a bully of mine, it would have been a much different outcome.
One time Iapetus' mother took me, Iapetus and Elpis (f) to Sulphur Springs. On the way home we played movie trivia. I gave clues for a movie starring Michael J. Fox that had been popular around that time, "Bright Lights Big City". Iapetus called out "Big Lights Bright City" and I had to say he was close, but I think Elpis ended up saying it correctly. We all had a good laugh about it that, yes, big lights would create a bright city. Iapetus' mom used to feed me (us) when I went over for a visit. He and I would sit at the island in the kitchen to eat. We would play outside in the yard, a lot, or in his room. They had a rec room, in the basement, I think his allergies bothered him a lot down there, but we still played on his computer (when the weather was bad or we had already played outside for a sufficient length of time). At Nereus' house we would play outside, or, even better, up in the attic. He lived on Second Avenue in an older brick home with a full storey attic. It was partially finished with a ceiling over ten feet and a small window that opened out into the branches of a mature maple tree in the front yard above the street. Nereus lived next door to Daphnis (m), my friend who drowned in the river. In fact we were all having a snowball fight in their front yard, Nereus had a small fort built in his around the maple tree, just a day or two before the accident that claimed Daphnis' life. I still remember that was the last time I had seen Daphnis alive. One time, during a New Years Eve party, we were throwing pretzels out the window and one caught a small branch of the tree. I'm not certain how long it hung there, it was winter so maybe a day or two. The New Years Eve parties, playing Dungeons & Dragons, and hanging out with my two best friends is probably some of the happiest memories of my teen years. Iapetus and Nereus (part 1)3/16/2023 I first met Nereus (m) on the playground of my public (elementary) school in my hometown back in the 1980s. He introduced me to Iapetus (m) who, oddly enough, ended up becoming a closer friend to me in the years to come.
Looking back I believe a number of factors contributed to the outcome. Nereus' father was a pastor which mean he was occupied with religious activities and, I think, his parents were both strict with his schedule and available free time. He had a younger sister who I saw only a handful of times over the years, I can not even remember her name anymore. Iapetus also had a younger sister, I remember her name but I was never really close to her, and I lost contact with her as soon as I moved away from our hometown. Both Iapetus and Nereus were musically inclined, Iapetus the saxophone and piano while Nereus the piano and something else I think. Iapetus became a teacher before changing to a sales profession, while Nereus remained involved in community service (I think he worked with a symphony in the city). I lost contact with both of them many years ago. I went to Iapetus' house many times through my teen years and kept in touch, for several years after, with his mother (who was somewhat like a second mom to me sometimes, feeding me lunch and always welcoming me into her home). In later years she and I emailed each other often before and after she was diagnosed with cancer. She died in 2016. Iapetus and I (me?) hung out a lot, many times at his house. We were best friends for over a decade. I would pick up the phone to call him and his voice would be there before I had even dialed. This happened so frequently that we stopped being surprised by it after a while. I used to be one of those people who ran ahead of schedule. If I arranged to be at his house at 2:00 and I would arrive at 1:45 - every time. It got to the point where we would plan to meet up a half an hour later knowing I would always be early. I think I stayed overnight at Iapetus' house once, he never stayed overnight at mind. He had a lot of allergies so he had a regime of medications and supplements he had to take daily. I stayed over at Nereus' house several times including having out own small New Years Eve parties. We played Dungeons & Dragons for a few years together. I remember I had two human warriors, Zark and Zork, brothers, and I think Iapetus was a magician while Nereus was a dwarf. It was so long ago but I can still remember the small pewter figurines we used (that you could only buy at Leisure World in the Grey County Mall in Owen Sound). As I mentioned Iapetus had a younger sister, Elpis, who went on to grow up and become a light attendant. She was cute but she was my best friends' sister and like a relative to me, so I avoided a closer friendship with her. I have a few memories about Iapetus. One time we were at his house and a thunderstorm was brewing outside. There was a crack of thunder so loud that I literally dove onto the floor perhaps believing that it would somehow protect me. We were regular Monopoly players and one time I came up with the idea of Double Monopoly. You take two Monopoly boards, layer the Go squares together then play it in a figure eight pattern around the board. I think the greatest challenge was keeping the game pieces and property cards separate, but the play money could be combined. We were playing it on the March spring day that Aegir (m) drowned. Normally on a spring day like that, sunshine with melting snow and being the last day of March break, we would be outside riding our bicycles. On this particular day I made the decision, which Iapetus agreed to, to stay up in my room playing board games. I recall the fire trucks were heading down to the river around 5pm when he was leaving to go home. A couple hours later I was down at the park crossroads, with my father, watching them put someone into an ambulance. I found out the next day it was Aegir. More memories in my next entry... I told ChatGPT this story, and here is its' response: "Thank you for sharing your memories with me. It sounds like you had some great times with your friends and that they played an important role in your life. Losing touch with people can be difficult, but it's great that you have these memories to look back on. If you ever want to reconnect with your old friends, there are many ways to do so these days with social media and other online platforms. But regardless, I hope that these memories continue to bring you joy and nostalgia." AuthorI am an average Gen X'er writing about my life experiences and adventures. Archives
July 2023
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